


Grin and Bear It

by IngridAnne24



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 08:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6603127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IngridAnne24/pseuds/IngridAnne24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Petra Solano never expected to fall in love with Jane Gloriana Villanueva. But she did, and she hates it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grin and Bear It

**Author's Note:**

> I fell in love with this pairing the same way I imagine Petra fell in love with Jane.
> 
> I'm pretty sure this is the natural progression happening in the show. Yup.

Petra had been in love a few times in her life. Roman, Lachlan, Milos, Rafael. They all had their own... qualities. She had good times with each of them, unfortunately the negatives outweighed the positives. They far outweighed the positives in most cases. She spent too much of her life trying to get away from Milos. She spent too much of her energy trying to get Rafael back, going as far as affecting her body with a pregnancy with twins.

Love was something she was going to get up and just focus on trying to love her daughters. That was her plan.

She did not anticipate falling in love with Jane Gloriana Villanueva. That was certainly not her plan.

It had happened slowly, snuck up on her, then surprised her.

When she first met Jane, she was a woman carrying the baby that was meant to be hers. Rafael was falling in love with Jane and Jane with Rafael, and Petra hated Jane. Over time, though, as much as Petra wanted to hate Jane, she couldn't find it in her heart. Jane was too good of a person, too nice. She was a person Petra wished she was, and maybe she could have been had she not been raised by Magda.

The moments when Jane fought back against Petra, it hurt in ways Petra couldn't figure out. She knew she shouldn't care what this tiny woman thought about her, and yet it did. Jane's anger at her was understandable, though; she and her mother did some awful things to Jane and her family. But Petra had had a lot of people angry with her in her life, but for some reason, she cared about what Jane thought.

She could feel her attraction to Rafael begin to ebb. She was aware of that. But she was not aware of her growing attraction to Jane, she just knew she had never felt this close to another woman before. She had friends as a child, but she had never felt so desperate to be someone's friend. It felt almost ridiculous. 

Inseminating herself was a last-ditch effort and completely idiotic. She realized that pretty quickly. But some good did come out of it (other than her daughters) which was growing closer to Jane. Jane, always eager to help, used her knowledge of pregnancy to help.

But she had never met someone who did things for others that didn't mean getting something out of it. Honestly, who throws a woman—not just any woman; Petra—a baby shower. Sometimes she couldn't comprehend Jane's kindness, especially kindness towards her. 

She wasn't sure exactly when she realized her feelings for Jane were more than friendliness. Perhaps it was when Jane coached Petra through the birth, her forehead pressed against Petra's sweaty forehead. It was such an intimate moment, a moment typically shared between significant others. Not two woman who once hated each other, or only knew each other for a year and a half. Was this how friends were supposed to act? Perhaps in Jane's world, but not Petra's. She never showed this kind of affection even with her own former lovers. Maybe she realized it when she noticed Jane was learning how to communicate with her, learning what to say to Petra to make her feel better. This was something else that was new for Petra. She had never met someone who didn't quickly become annoyed with Petra's difficult nature. No, instead, Jane was understanding Petra's quirks, adapting to the situation.

Jane's friendship was nice, comforting, but sometimes, when Petra was up late, thinking too hard, she wondered. Then she got annoyed with herself for thinking this. Jane was so much different from anyone else she loved—or thought she loved. Her whole family was lightyears away from Petra's. But, maybe, that was what Petra needed. A family that loved unconditionally like the Villanueva's do, and not treat her like a burden, an accident, like her own mother did. She was pretty sure the Villanueva's wouldn't treat any of their own poorly simply because she had been born a girl, like Magda did.

She didn't expect inseminating herself would create such a connection between her and Jane. It made sense, though, as family was a big deal to Jane, and she just accepted these babies were her son's family, making Petra part of Jane's family. Another concept Petra struggled to wrap her mind around.

There came a point where it was feeling unbalanced; Jane was doing these incredibly kind things for Petra and Petra's only reward to Jane was not being mean to her. She felt like she should do something in return.

Buying a Jane a house was not her initial plan, but when the moment came, she knew that was it. A small part of it may have been to spite Rafael, because his whining was beginning to wear on her nerves. But it was mostly Jane. She wished she could have seen Jane's face when she found out, but part of her goal to be more like Jane was to do things without credit and do it just for the soul purpose of making someone happy.

Her selfishness still came out, though, because sometimes she liked to imagine the house was just for Jane and Mateo, than Michael was not involved. She sometimes imagined they were not engaged.

No, she realized her attraction to Jane was something more was when she tried to imagine Jane and Michael together and she felt sick. She felt a near hatred towards Michael that she had once, unfortunately, felt towards Jane. That's when she knew.

She didn't do jealousy well. It always came out in destructive, passive aggressive ways. However, she told herself “what would Jane do?” Jane would not do something that would hurt Michael, thus hurting Jane. It hurt, but in the most cliched way, Petra wanted Jane to be happy. That was the most important thing.

Sometimes she thought about telling Jane, when Jane brought Mateo over to see his sisters. Their children were siblings, it made sense. But she suspected Jane did not see it that way. They were a complicated family, that was all it was. Nothing romantic. And even if Jane possibly felt the same way, Petra's version of showing affection was very different from Jane's. Petra smiled, maybe a tight laugh. That was it. Jane's showed affection like a normal person; she put her hand on people's arms or shoulder, she smiled with teeth, she hugged. It would be very easy to not read Petra's attempt at affection as another more than (semi) friendly.

She was never good at communicating her feelings. She could blame her mother, but perhaps it was just her. Maybe she was just naturally emotionally constipated. Maybe she would never tell Jane how she felt.

Maybe she just kill Michael. That could solve one of her problems. No, no, that wouldn't solve anything. That would just upset Jane.

For now, she was just going to have to smile her trademark tight-smile and enjoy her time with Jane. If she learned anything from Jane Gloriana Villanueva, it was that hope and optimism was a powerful thing, and that anything was possible.


End file.
